Phương Hoàng Hamilton: My Father

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

My father

This is a photo of my father that luckily survived many years and there was a time when the house we lived in when we were young in Quảng Đức burned down and the photo was still here. It's a blessing for us to still be able to see our father as a young man. Dad was so handsome.

In these years, everything has developed, especially the internet, media, movies... many pictures and short videos are posted online. Both men and women are so beautiful. The photo is so beautiful and the person is so beautiful. Edited photos also make unbeautiful people look radiantly beautiful... Everyone is beautiful.

Looking back at the black and white photo of my father. Black and white photo without adjusting the body and face....This photo was taken when my father was a single young man around 1954, 1953. Behind him was a vast Dalat pine forest... I remember what my mother said. It was my father standing next to Bá Hộ Chúc bridge or the bridge of Ông Đạo on the shore of Xuân Hương Lake in Dalat. Dad was so handsome, youthful and somewhat attractive. Hehe, I didn't know how else to describe it. I remember my grandmother gave birth to 5 sons, all of whom were very handsome and had beautiful faces, but the other 4 were even more handsome because they were tall, only my father was the shortest. Even if male actors are very handsome, they often lack the strength that young men exude like my father.

My father held a cigarette in his hand. I remember my dad occasionally smoked cigarettes, and the cigarette packet had a picture of a "cat" head on it, and it smelled very good. It seemed like Dunhill cigarettes were no longer produced. Or dad even smokes Cuban cigars and buys a big box to treat guests on Tết even. But he only smoked with guests. When the guests left, the cigars were also extinguished, so the cigars remained halfway on the ashtray. Cigarettes were often used as "bait" for conversation between men, smoking to socialize. So my father was not addicted to smoking because I didn't see him smoking without friends. He also drank wine and beer, but it's usually just a bottle of cold beer for a meal. Sometimes an appetizer was a small glass of spirits like whiskey or Cognac. Sometimes when he didn't drink beer, he had a glass of Bordeau wine for a meal. Dad drank wine to enhance the flavor of meals and was neither an alcoholic nor drunk. That is also the bravery of men.

Every time I followed my husband Kim to the LCBO store to look at the wine brands which my father had tasted during meals, I realized that my father was very luxurious, but now I knew that he spended too much money on beer and wine. When I traveled to Cuba with my husband Kim and went to the cigar shop, I remembered that my father used to smoke this cigar. I remember that the scent of cigars and the image of my father still lingered around me. And next to me is Mr. Kim, who also drank 1 bottle or 1 can of cold beer or a small glass of wine. he also smoke English cigarettes but he is not addicted, he also bought red wine and strong alcohol, and then every time he ate at home, he drank a glass to enhance the flavor of the food... but he’s not addicted to it either. There is also another brave man next to me.

Brave and handsome, my father was truly a beautiful man before he got married and even more handsome later as a responsible mature man when he got married and had children. We are our father's children, we always miss our father and are proud of him. Before I could take care of my father for a day to repay his gratitude, my father passed away and went to heaven. It's so regretful that I miss my dad and the lesson is to always love and take care of those around me.

Many thanks to you, father.

I pray to the Buddhas of the ten directions to grant my father eternal peace.

Namo Amitabha Buddha

Ba Của Tôi

Đây là tấm ảnh ba tôi mà may mắn còn qua bao năm và có lúc nhà chúng tôi ở lúc nhỏ trên Quảng Đức bị cháy rụi mà tấm ảnh vẫn còn đây. Thật là phúc cho chúng tôi còn được nhìn cha lúc trẻ. Ba đẹp trai ra phết đó.

Những năm này cái gì cũng phát triển , nhất là internet, media, phim...nhiều hình ảnh và video ngắn tung lên mạng. Nam nữ đều đẹp quá. Ảnh thật người thật quá đẹp. Ảnh chỉnh sửa cũng làm người không đẹp thành đẹp rực rỡ....Ai cũng đẹp.

Nhìn lại tấm ảnh đen trắng của ba mình. Ảnh đen trắng không chỉnh người và mặt mũi....Tấm ảnh này chụp lúc ba tôi là thanh niên độc thân vaò khoảnh năm 1954, 1953. Sau lưng là một rừng thông Đàlat bát ngát... Tôi nhớ má tôi nói đó là ba tôi đứng bên cầu Bá Hộ Chúc hay cầu ông Đạo gì đó ở bờ hồ Xuân Hương Đàlạt. Ba thật đẹp trai phong độ trẻ trung và có phần hấp dẫn đó chứ. Hơ hơ không biết mô tả ra sao nữa. Nhớ lại bà nội tôi sinh ra 5 người con trai đều rất đẹp người, mặt đẹp rồi mà 4 người kia càng phong độ lắm vì cao lớn, chỉ có ba tôi là lùn nhất. Các tài tử nam có đẹp lắm cũng vậy thôi, Nhiều khi họ còn thiếu nét mạnh mẽ của đàn ông trẻ toát ra ngoài như ba mình nhé.

Ba tôi trong tay cầm điếu thuốc. Tôi nhớ ba mình thỉnh thoảng có hút thuốc mà trên gói thuốc có hình đầu“con mèo” thơm lắm, hình như là thuốc lá hiệu Dunhill không còn sản xuất nữa. Hay ba còn hút xì gà Cuba mua cả hộp to đãi khách ngày Tết. Nhưng ông chỉ hút khi tiếp khách thôi, khách ra về thì xì gà cũng dập tắt cho nên điếu xì gà cứ còn lưng chừng nằm trên cái gạt tàn thuốc. Điếu thuốc nhiều khi là để “mồi” cho câu chuyện giữa những người đàn ông với nhau, hút thuốc để xã giao. Cho nên ba tôi không ghiền thuốc vì không thấy ông hút thuốc khi không có bạn. Rượu và bia ba cũng có uống mà rất hay là một bữa ăn một chai bia lạnh thôi. Có khi một ly appetizer là 1 ly rượu mạnh nhỏ như whisky hay Cognac. Có khi không uống bia thì một ly rượu chát Bordeau cho 1 bữa ăn. Ba uống rượu để tăng hương vị cho bữa ăn và không hề nghiện rượu, cũng không say rượu. Đó cũng là bản lĩnh của đàn ông nhỉ.

Mỗi khi tôi theo ông xã Kim ra tiệm LCBO nhìn các nhãn hiệu rượu ba đã từng nếm trong các bữa ăn tôi nhận ra ba mình sang ghê hè, mà bây giờ con mới biết ba xài quá sang trong bia rượu. Khi đi du lịch Cuba với anh xã Kim tới hãng vấn xì gà mới nhớ ba mình từng hút xì gà này, nhớ lại mà mùi hương xì gà và hình bóng ba mình còn vấn vít xung quanh mình. Mà sát bên mình là anh Xã Kim cũng như vậy một bữa ăn 1 chai hay 1 lon bia lạnh hay một ly rượu nhỏ. Thuốc lá eng cũng có hút mà không ghiền, rượu cũng mua rượu chát rượu mạnh, rồi về nhà mỗi khi ăn thì một ly để cho tăng hương vị món ăn...mà cũng không ghiền. Cũng một người đàn ông bản lĩnh sát bên mình đó.

Bản lĩnh và đẹp trai, ba tôi thật là người đàn ông quá đẹp trước khi có vợ và sau này càng đẹp trong tư cách trách nhiệm của người đàn ông thành thục khi lập gia đình. Chúng tôi là những đứa con của ba, luôn thương nhớ ba mình và tự hào về ba mình. Tôi chưa được một ngày chăm sóc ba để đền ơn trả hiếu thì cha đã ra đi về thiên đường. Thật tiếc nuối cho nên nhớ ba và bài học là luôn thương yêu chăm sóc người thân bên cạnh mình.

Muôn vàn tạ ơn cha.

Cầu xin mười phương chư Phật độ trì cho cha nơi bình an vĩnh hằng.

Nam Mô A Di Đà Phật

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