Phương Hoàng Hamilton: August 2016

Ngày Giỗ Má

Hôm nay ngày giỗ má

Con nấu chè hạt sen

Với xôi đậu xanh cà

Thêm trái cây hoa quả

Dâng cúng má, Má ơi!

Má tôi là Canadian nhưng hay than thở lạnh quá, cho nên muà đông bà đi qua Mỹ. Lúc đầu có 1 người em đi làm việc bên đó, má tôi liền chạy đi thăm ở lại với gia đình em để tránh lạnh. Nhưng lúc đó em ở tiểu bang Ilinois nên cũng lạnh. Khi em về Cali má tôi chờ muà đông là chạy về đó. Có khi má tôi kéo tôi theo vì bà không biết tiếng Anh nên cần người hộ tống, vậy là nhờ má tôi có dịp đi chơi. Tôi dẫn bà qua rồi ở vài ngày thì về lại.

Bà thích ra Phước Lộc Thọ với mấy người bạn quen cũ ở Đalat. Khi xưa mấy bà bận việc nhà con cái và buôn bán làm ăn, chỉ gặp nhau khi có việc như là ngày mở hụi, khui hụi, hốt hụi....hàng xóm cũng chỉ chào hỏi vài câu khi giáp mặt thôi. Nay già rồi hết việc làm, lãnh tiền già hằng tháng có tiền để xài, mà người Dalat lại gặp nhau ở nơi Cali thật quý, mấy bà cùng đi chuà đi chợ lại có thì giờ nói chuyện kể lể tâm tình...Má tôi không lái xe nhưng các bác Cali lái xe giỏi chở má tôi tới nhà các bà bạn khác, đón nhau đi chuà đi tới nhà dưỡng lão, đi khắp các chợ ở quận Cam. Mà đi đâu cũng gặp người nói tiếng Việt vui quá nên ngày nào cũng muốn đi chơi.

Đôi khi tôi đi theo các bà mẹ vô các tiệm vàng bạc đá quý trong Phước Lộc Thọ. Tôi cũng mua vài xâu ngọc trai cẩm thạch, dây chuyền vàng đem về cho con dâu và cháu nội. Tôi có mua cho mình mấy chuỗi cẩm thạch mà chẳng bao giờ đeo, hôm nay nhớ lại xâu ngọc cẩm thạch, đem ra đeo nhân ngày giỗ má. Sao mà nặng tay nặng cổ thế này, đá thật nên lạnh cổ.

Má tôi mất ngày 17 tháng 7 âm lịch, sau ngày rằm vu lan 2 bữa. Mấy ngày này trăng sáng rực ban đêm. Ngày 16 cúng hoa quả, ngày 17 cúng thêm chè xôi trà nước, ngày 18 cúng thêm bánh rồi vái tạ. Mấy người em cúng cơm. Má tôi linh thiêng thì mấy ngày này đi vòng quanh thăm con cháu cúng kính tưởng nhớ chắc bà vui. Khi cha mẹ mất ai cũng cầu cho vãng sanh về cõi A Di Đà, cõi cực lạc niết bàn thiên đường....thì tôi nghĩ khi các ngài đã ra khỏi trần gian thì cũng hết ham thích những dục vọng trên trần thế này. Tôi cúng chỉ để nhắc mình nhớ ơn và tạ ơn ba má mình. Nhất là khi đã trở thành ông bà mình cành thấm thiá công ơn sinh thành dưỡng dục của ba má. Cũng là dịp anh chị em tập trung gặp nhau nhắc lại kỷ niệm vui buồn khi còn thơ bên cha mẹ. Ngày giỗ như vậy cũng là dịp cho con cháu có ngày hội tụ tạ ơn cha mẹ.

Date of Mother Memory

Mother's death anniversary today

I cooked lotus seed

With green bean sticky rice

Add fruit and colorful flowers

Offerings Mother, dear Mum!

My mother was Canadian but moaned it’s too cold, so when the winter came she went to the United States to escape the cool climate. At first there was one younger brother went to work over there, my mother ran away to visit and stay with his family to avoid the cold. But that time he worked in Illinois, the winter there was so cold too. When my brother went to worked in Cali, my Mom was running to Cali too in winter time. Sometimes my mother got me to go with her because she did not speak English so she needed an escort for stranslation. Therefore thanks to my mother I had a chance to go out of town. I went with her to Cali then stayed a few days then went back to my house. She liked to go to the Phuoc Loc Tho with some old acquaintance friends of Đalat. At the time in Dalat they were very busy with their duties of taking care of children, working as trading business. They only met when the opening day of “hui”, “hui” payment, “hui” closing day ....neighbours just say hello when meet face to face. Now they were old, all of their jobs were over, they received monthly senior payments from government, they have money to spend. The women who were from the same town of Dalat were true happiness when they met each other in Cali. They went shopping, visited many Budhist temples, had time to narrate old stories when they were young in Dalat ... My mom did not drive but her friends were good drivers, so they drove my mom and me around Cali. They drove her to her friends' homes, or temples, or to visit friend in nursing home. They went around most of the Orange county Vietnamese supermarkets. It was fun to meet people who speak Vietnamese so they would want to go out every day. Sometimes I followed all the mothers to Phước Lộc Thọ, I went to many jewelry stores in Phuoc Loc Tho. I also bought a few strings of pearls marble, gold chain for gifting my daughter in law and granddaughters. I bought myself some jade necklaces that I didnot wear. Today I found the jade necklace I wear on this memory day of my mom. I felt a heavy weight on my wrist and neck. Real jade made my neck cold too.

My mom passed away on July 17 lunar calendar, two days after the full moon of Vu Lan event. There are bright moon light on this event. On 16 July I would offer fruits. On 17 July I would offer sweet soup, sticky rice and cozy tea. On 18 July I would offer cake and cookies and more food to immolate. In Cali my little brother family had rice and many foods offering. My mother spirit was happy on these days if she was going around to visit her descendants. All her 9 children families made offerings in her memorial death day. When parents passed away I thought everyone pray for rebirth in the realm of Amitabha, the realm of nirvana, or paradise bliss .... I also thought when all of our parents was out of this world they stopped all the human desire to satisfy the bodily needs. When I make offering any foods, drinks, and flowers on the memory day, I have just reminded myself of gratitude and respect and thank my parents. Especially when I became grandparents I would deeply understand the hardship of parenthood . It was a chance to meet all siblings to recall the happy and sad childhood memories. Such anniversary memory day was also a chance for all descendants to converge for a Thanksgiving Day of Parents.

HMP

Phương Hoàng Hamilton

Friday, August 19, 2016

Date of Mother Memory

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